100 Days of Joy: Day Twenty-Two

I’ve spent the last few hours debating with myself over what to say in today’s blog. I wrote out an entire draft just telling a story from a long time ago in order to avoid being honest, but I couldn’t post it. This is a challenge to see what a positive outlook can do to your life, and if it’s going to be genuine, I have to be honest every day. So here it goes:

Today was okay. It was a normal day, getting my son to school, going to work, sitting at my desk for 8.5 hours and then going to get my son, do pages of homework and reading while trying to also get some dinner in, bath time and bed. Nothing exciting. I was tired all day, I’m extremely tired now, and for some reason I just feel glum. I’ve been fighting this off successfully for a few days now, changing my focus and incorporating in comedy to brighten the mood. But its time to just face it, I feel–sad. I feel like I’m drowning in responsibilities, trying to find balance between what I want to do and what I need to do.

I really wanted to do some writing today, and I did, but by the time I was able to it was late. I’m exhausted and tomorrow morning I’m going to do it all over again.

As I was working today, I was picturing what I wanted in the future. So many things that I want and enjoy like writing, drawing, photography, music–I have so many ideas for projects with all of these things, and so little time to give to them.

In the future, I’d like to be a creator full time. A published author, photographer and even get some music in. I’d like to spend every day creating and expressing the overflowing wonders inside of me. But real life comes first and being a creator takes time.

Right now I am just reminding myself of what I am doing to accomplish future goals while still caring for the now. Consistently blogging for twenty-two days now is certainly a win, and it keeps my juices running. And, since I’ve been so bad at starting things and then moving on, I’m trying to squeeze any extra time beyond that to one story. I’m going to stick to it until I finish it, and then I will choose my next project to tackle.

I am learning thats how you accomplish things. Choose a project, stick to it, complete it, start the next. Along with my positive attitude, this is also something I am working on. It’s going slower than I would prefer, but I’m making it happen.

When I was a teenager, I would spend hours and hours every day just writing. One day, I’ll have that back and this time, I’ll get paid to do it. That is what I am working toward.

Just writing this, I’m feeling slightly better. I must sleep now though, because it’s back to work tomorrow and I desperately need rest. You’ll hear more from mye my friends. So much more.

XOXO,

Erika The Unicorn Queen

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