Demi: Tears Behind Strength

By Erika sams

The world seemed to stop yesterday afternoon as we waited to hear if Demi Lovato was going to pull through the day. Rushed to the hospital with what is reportedly an overdose, the situation is far worse than anyone seems to realize.

Before getting into this I want to point out that most of what we have heard is speculation and until Demi herself decides to share what happened, I won’t take anything as certain. So what follows will be based on the shared speculation over the last few months.

If you’re like me, you’ve followed Demi since Camp Rock or even longer. We’ve seen her at the high of her first album and the lows of vodka in sprite bottles. Demi is known for being so candid about her struggles with mental health and addiction. At the same time, as “Simply Complicated” admitted, these things sometimes take over more than we realize, and at times we thought she was doing fine, those around her knew she wasn’t okay.

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We know Demi has a fight in her, and it’s that fight that has taken her this far. We also know addiction is a bitch. And as someone who has dealt with depression, anxiety and self harm myself, I can tell you it’s easier to ask for help the first time. That may sound silly, but there is a misrepresentation of “recovery”. You ask for help, you recover, everyone is happy. For th one with the illness, it’s not so simple. And while there can be hours, days or other periods that seem hopeful, mental illness has a way of creeping back up and pulling you down in a sneaky, nasty way. Most of the time, you don’t even realize how bad you are until you’re deep into it, and by that point you’re too ashamed to speak up.

There are reports Demi has severed ties with her sobriety team. While I am not sure if this is true or not, what I do know is that would be a very bad, but likely thing to happen. Like I said, “recovery” isn’t a 180 change, it’s a fight for the rest of your life, and sometimes that fight seems too hard. Leaning on the same people, you begin to feel like a burden.

Were there warning signs? I would say “Sober” was Demi’s call for help, no doubt. What is concerning is, “I promise I’ll get help,” makes it sound like she hadn’t get accepted help.

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Does Demi want help? No doubt in my mind. Is she willing to accept it? That remains a question. We have to remember that Demi can only be helped if she accepts it.

Demi has been such a motivation/inspiration to me over the years and I have seen her as a symbol of strength. I still believe this, I still love her to death, my heart is with her and I hope she gets the help that she needs. No matter who it is though, until you accept help from trained specialists who know what you need, you will not pull through.

Demi, I know there is fight in you. I know you don’t want to be where you are and I know how badly you hurt. It’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for help and it’s okay to fall sometimes. I cannot imagine how heartbreaking it was to end years of sobriety, but you can start again. Don’t give up, and know that we are all behind you and will still be here when you are ready to return. But care for yourself first!! We love you. Every Lovatic stands behind you.

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